Cinema Answering Questions Interviews. Laughing Machines Factories. There a lot of food going on. I drink and eat and use the restrooms in a lot of the houses. What better way to really get closer to the fans than to steal their soap from the restrooms as they allow you to enter their homes? Home House Fans. Pain Breathe. Want Way. I didn't know I could do it but I knew I couldn't not do it. I quit everything in my life and this was the one thing I couldn't quit.
June Firsts Quitting. Funny Nice Comedy. Funny Rights Two. Now we have to shop in the caucasian isle and get sunscreen, mayonaise and mild salsa because the other ones really hawt! Boys White Proud. Well not really priceless, but there you go!
Memories Priceless Wells. Waffles Firsts. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose, the guy next to you is laughing so hard he accidentally farts. Friends for life! Laughing Guy Noses. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours! Girl Good Luck Sleep. Anne Hathaway Actress. Billy Ray Cyrus Singer-songwriter. Carlos Mencia Comedian.
Originally Posted by islasunflower. Hey, George Lopez uses the word "Vato" quite frequently Julio Jaubert. I'll only ad that "vato" is used in the same way as "man", or "guy": - Hey man! In certain parts of the United States, hispanic people use "ese" instead of "vato". El Detective. What we in law enforcement call gang slang. In this culture vato is better translated as brother, not specifically indicating a blood relationship but rather a gang family relationship.
Teens who give up society for the gang life are called "vatos locos", meaning crazy gang banger, a term that became synonymous with members of LA's 38th Street Gang. The term gained popularity and sofened in meaning in general society but is still used regularly in gang slang. Mexican Translator.
It's gotta have hardwood floors, recessed lighting, crown molding, everything y todo, the whole nine yarns. Ernie: No way! She's not even allowed in my room; there's a sign and everything; she knows that, fool!
You know what? Whatever, eh. You know what, I don't need this crap. George Lopez: Look. This gotta be done by Monday. That's three days, huh. Can you do it? Victor: [looks to the left side of the garage] Hmm, depends. What about permits? George Lopez: Alright, look it, Angie can't know you're here, okay? So you gotta be out of here by 6 every night, before she gets home from the bridal expo. Bobby: Hold on, hold on, hold the horse, huh. There's a lot of work here for three days.
We don't have a deal until we talk about a equitable compensation package. Victor: [points in agreement at Bobby] Mmm. Now let's see: We got - we got electric, plumbing, [whistles] carpentry, materials Victor: Hey, relajate.
We'll get a box! So um Jonathon K. Martin: Me and my secretary were fooling around in my office. My wife called. I said there was something on my desk, that needed my attention. Now did I lie? George Lopez: You know what Vic? When she goes to her High School reunion, she can bring your ashes.
Oh that's not an ash tray, that's my husband. Benny: George, George, we were drunk and we were watching boxing, and well, you know how booze and sweaty guys get my horses running.
George Lopez: [to Vic] You're offering me two thousand dollars to set you up on a date with my sister? I remember yelling at the screen, "Eight's not enough, adopt a little Mexican boy! Angie Lopez: Daddy's gonna stay here while they tend his condo for termites.
George Lopez: You don't need exterminators, Vic. Just get all the bugs together and tell them stories about Cuba. They'll kill themselves. Vic: That is so sweet, but no. It would be too hard for me seeing you in a room full of people you should have married. George Lopez: Yeah, I guess Angie could have married a cardiologist, got divorced, taken half of his money, hooked up with some young stud Oh, that's what your wife did. Did I strike a nerve?
Probably after the little black mouse under his nose. Benny: I know what you're going through. When I was in high school, they called me easy, cheap, loose Carmen Lopez: [watching Marisol put on makeup] Your eye ends here but your eyeshadow goes way back here. Marisol: At least I got a reason to put on makeup, all you've done for three days is sit up here and read Angie Lopez: [to Marisol] There's only two things keeping me from tearing into you, my son is asleep next door, and I'm pretty sure you could kick my ass.
George Lopez: If we see someone along the road and they're dying, what do we do? George Lopez: [to Max's scout leader who's been making racist statements all night] And you, Grand Dragon, you've got to the count of three to get out of my yard!
Angie Lopez: [while Mr. Nettles is chasing his tail] Does that look sick to you. Lisby: [talking about Mr. Neetles's tumor disappearance] It's the same dog because he has the same heart earrings in him. Benny: Wednesday, and I know who the president is too, don't try that with me. George Lopez: Mom, think back 36 years from yesterday, think how you came to be called 'Mom'. George Lopez: You got Eric Estrada? Angie Lopez: What do you say to 12 friends, Spider-man, a few presents, and chocolate cake?
George Lopez: No, 3 friends, no entertainment, one gift, and a baked potato. We're bargaining, I'm starting low. Benny: George, if you expect a dog to bite you, you'll be happy if all he does is poop on your shoes. Carmen Lopez: Oh come on, Mom, you know that's not what he wants. Crappy birthday, Dad. George Lopez: Exactly what is it we're celebrating? Angie Lopez: I'm giving your father the birthday party he never had as a kid. Carmen Lopez: Why can't you just put on Moulin Rouge and dance around for him?
Carmen Lopez: Oh, don't worry, you're a great role model for me Carmen Lopez: [busts into the bedroom while George and Angie are talking calmly] Mommy, Daddy, please stop fighting! You're going to drive me into the arms of a sympathetic gang member! George Lopez: [to Carmen] Okay, two things: You came in a little early Max Lopez: [comes into the bedroom after George and Angie fight] Mommy!
Please stop fighting! You're going to drive me into the arms of some pathetic gang member. George Lopez: But home-schooling, Angie, that's a big commitment. Remember that special moment every morning when Carmen finally leaves for school and you say, "Thank God, she's gone"?
You won't have that anymore! George Lopez: [to Angie] You know what you always say to me when I'm down? A door may have closed, but a window just opened. Benny: Excuses! George Lopez: Not even professionals could teach Carmen. Angie Lopez: I'm trying it on once a week to remind myself not to eat anything that tastes good. George Lopez: Sure, Angie. I ruined our string of bad luck with our dyslexic son, our runaway daughter, and my mother who shows no sign of aging or disease whatsoever George Lopez: My daughter's gonna be class president, valedictorian, prom queen, everything she can't be with those other kids around.
Carmen Lopez: [to Angie] So, now you're accusing me of cheating? This is hell! I can't take it anymore! There's no breaks, no one to talk to, it's just you all day! Have you ever spent 8 hours with yourself? No wonder Dad always hides in the garage. Carmen Lopez: [discovers Max is peeking on Olivia through a hole in Carmen's wall] So what do you think of my little brother? Max Lopez: [after Carmen's prank lands him in the hospital with stitches in his head] I'm gonna kill her.
Max Lopez: No, I mean it, I'm really going to kill her, and Grandma told me how to make it look like an accident. Angie Lopez: You're NOT killing anyone, and now you know what it feels like to have your privacy violated. Benny: No you don't, you treat the boy better. But Carmen's gotta get used to it; it's always been this way. I cannot tell you how much easier my life would've been if I'd had something dangling between my legs.
Benny: Max, how's your head? How many bottles of beer am I holding up honey? Angie Lopez: [talking with George on his cell phone, unaware he's right outside the sliding door] Are you coming home soon? George Lopez: Yeah, and by the way, make sure you lock the doors, I heard on the radio there's this guy going around breaking into people's houses. George Lopez: As long as you're a tax deduction, you will always be safe in my home.
George Lopez: [sees the picture Carmen took of Max] You fight with guys, you peep at girls, you sleep in your underwear with a pink bunny, you're a complex dude, Max.
George Lopez: [crying too] I got you a cellphone to make everything better, stop crying! I did when you were little because you were just like a little boy, except you never got caught in your zipper.
Carmen Lopez: Well I'm not a little boy or little girl anymore and I'd like to have my feelings respected. George Lopez: It was an accident, Ernie. Who watches TV naked after a shower? George Lopez: What? Oh, hell no.
Hell no! You better hope Brad and Angelina want another little Mexican boy for their collection because I'm not raising another one! Angie Lopez: George, your mom's perfect man might not be in LA. He could be in a trailer in North Carolina or a trailer in Wyoming or a trailer in Alabama.
This is my last shot, Mom. Not just for an education, for freedom. I can't party and pierce things in this house. I need to go away. Max Lopez: But most of my friends have already gotten drunk. I wanna see what it feels like. George Lopez: Let me tell you a tragic story about someone who started drinking at your age.
The end. Vic: [to Benny] You will however, die alone with your underwear full of cobwebs. Vic: [about his girlfriend] Last night was our first date and it was magical. She says I am the most handsome man she has ever seen. Benny: That's so nice. So when you kissed her good night, did her seeing-eye dog growl? George Lopez: Oh, no, Mom, what did you do? Rob a place, shoot someone? I know, you flashed someone and they killed themselves.
Ernie: [to George] And the cashier said he saw the robber talking to a Mexican dude with his little girl right before he robbed the place. Angie Lopez: Yeah, I do. Because having you stay out all night at parties is no different than having you run away. George Lopez: [to Carmen] Any problems with the building?
Take it up with the super. He's in the next room and he's Carmen Lopez: [about the mannequin in the wall] The mannequin represents my spirit trying to get out of a spiritual prison.
Angie Lopez: Carmen, your mail came, there's something from a school and a letter from Toby and two pieces of junk mail. Angie Lopez: [gives Carmen the plate] Run up to your room and eat your mail. Carmen Lopez: Why would she need to go to school? She's a dancer and a model. George Lopez: Carmen's about to break.
Taylor's eating her food, wearing her clothes and using her cell phone, she's a selfish, ungrateful brat. Carmen now has her own Carmen, night night.
Angie Lopez: Yeah, I do, because having you out all hours of the night is no different than having you run away. We need to know where you are and that you're safe. George Lopez: From now on, you're homeschooled, anything we don't know, you don't know. When was the Korean War? I don't know and neither do you! What's the Magna Carter? Sorry, bro! Max Lopez: My dad says you should put one of those meters on my butt, you'd make a lot of money! Angie Lopez: There's something I want to talk to you about, but first let me make us a cup of tea.
Carmen Lopez: [groans] No! The last time we had tea it was to talk about my special visitor, oh and you forgot to mention she comes with a couple friends: crampy and bloaty! Angie Lopez: [George comes in disheveled with a radio antenna in hand] What happened to you? George Lopez: Let me ask you a question: if you're a cop, who do you chase? George Lopez: Tell her about being 16 and pregnant, tell her about how I ruined your life.
Look, when you're young you meet a guy who seems great, and you forget about what's right or wrong and go to bed with him, and it's pretty good!
Benny: I'm not going to lie! But then, he doesn't turn out to be as great as you thought and the next thing you know, you're alone with a baby.
And while the rest of your friends are out having a great time, you're up to your stretch marks in dirty diapers. I gave up all my pretty years for him [points to George]. George Lopez: [showing Carmen pictures of STDs to scare her out of having sex] Some of these diseases can kill you, and then there are others like Angie, where are my genital herpes?
George Lopez: [showing Carmen pictures] This is gonorrhea! Kid 1: [after a kid says the wrong thing to a 'stranger' in the school play] Stop. Benny: I used to read you the newspaper before bed so you knew what was going on in the world.
Remember the Zodiac Killer? You said, 'he's not coming to our house, is he? George Lopez: I remember that. George Lopez: Alright, this movie might be a little mature for you, but I think it's more important that you learn that not everyone out there is a nice person.
George Lopez: [after Angie breaks up the kids watcing Texas Chainsaw Massacre, George pulls out another tape] Well there's no lesson here, but lets see what happens when Leprechauns go bad. Benny: That sign that says 'no smoking', is that just for the kids, or for everybody? George Lopez: [to Angie] Hey, as far as the phone company's concerned, Yoshi stole it. George Lopez: [Max pours cereal into a plunger] Hey buddy, what're you doing? George Lopez: Cereal on a stick.
You're going to come work at the factory with me, aren't you? Benny: Your problem is you coddle your children too much. George was always very independent, he was crossing the street by himself when he was 2.
Vic Palermo: [to George] You think this is easy for me? She is my little girl. George Lopez: They shot Tiny Timoteo in the first two minutes of the play? What're they going to do next?
Benny: I liked that theatre, I can't wait to see what they do with The Nutcracker. Carmen Lopez: I can't believe they shot Santa Claus for wearing the wrong colors! We open presents and spend time together as a family, but that's not good enough for you! Vic Palermo: [thinks] I would rather listen to Black Sabbath than have a myocardial infarction. And that was a free one. George Lopez: I'm sorry, Angie, I wasn't thinking straight, I've got a lot on my mind right now, I'm going in for surgery soon to have a kidney removed.
Benny: You know what? When the dead runs out on you and leaves you a 2 year old to raise by yourself, I'll say whatever the hell I want about him. George Lopez: You told me my father was dead.
Maybe if I'd known the truth, I could've met him sooner. Angie Lopez: Good, and she's not supposed to, but if she invites her boyfriend Randy over? George Lopez: [reading Manny's letter] The doctors say I have very little time left, I might not live long enough to Angie Lopez: Oh my God, he died right then and didn't get to finish the letter.
George Lopez: [at the PTA meeting] They know we want cookies, but they hold them till the end, they're evil. I'm going in, Angie, cover me. Angie Lopez: [one of the PTA moms] She was taking a box of canned goods to give to the homeless and she said 'Why don't I just cut out the middleman?
Happy Thanksgiving'. Angie Lopez: You're missing the point, George, they think we're broke because we can't afford to send Max on his field trip. Benny: [all dolled up to meet a guy] I'm going down to the Home Depot and act like I don't know nothing. George Lopez: Angie, those people don't know what poor is. Poor is a mother buying 1 churro for 9 kids, telling them 'Lick it and pass it, lick it and pass it, take a bite and see what happens, lick it and pass it' then flips it over, 'Lick it and pass it, why you crying?
Amy: [after setting her arm on fire] I hope I don't need another graft, I'm almost out of butt skin. You spend money on stuff you don't need all the time! Like, why does Mom need a car? She doesn't have a job! George Lopez: Whoa! George Lopez: Really, Angie, where do you go?
The store? You're already mad! George Lopez: Look, Max, sometimes when you know something's wrong, you have to stand up against it, even if it makes you own son mad at you. Benny: George, this cop is never gonna find your daughter. He has arrested me three times and he still doesn't remember me.
George Lopez: [to Carmen about Zack] He told me he was going to dump you as soon as he got you into bed. George Lopez: Oh, yeah? Did I also make up that he trashed the factory? Or that he got a sixteen-year-old girl pregnant? Ernie: Me either. George Lopez: [to Zack about Carmen] I'm not warning you again, it's over between you two.
Zack Powers: I think it'll be over when Carmen gets out of bed to make me a sandwich. Carmen Lopez: [to her parents about Zack] You guys don't understand Zack! His dad was never there for him and his mom's a bitter old drunk. You have no idea what that's like. Max Lopez: [to Benny] Hey, Grandma, you might wanna stand up now because those pigs are gonna be flying out of your butt!
Young Carmen: [to George during a flashback, carrying a puzzle] Daddy, can you help me put this together? George Lopez: [drinking beer and reading the paper] Not now, Carmen.
I'm busy. Angie Lopez: I'm tired of you leaving me out of everything. We are going to kill Carmen. Max Lopez: [walks out the door in a cheerful mood] Well, I'm off to fail the 5th grade.
George Lopez: [to Carmen] Well, you're crazy if you think we're getting you a sweater and a bird! Carmen Lopez: Oh! Those mints. They were probably just stale. How many did you take? Angie Lopez: You're going to be all right, Max. But all the same, I'll call the poison control center. George Lopez: You accidentally took some of your sister's birth control pills. George Lopez: We're going to kill Carmen, and if you're anything like your mother, you'll experience some tenderness around your breasts.
Benny: I didn't want to say anything in front of Carmen, but you can't stop her. When I was sixteen, my dad said he would kill me, and I believed it. And I still did it. George Lopez: Yeah, well Carmen's not you.
She's not willing to do anything for a cheeseburger and a ride home. Vic: Because when I said that sex was a serious matter that only had importance in the relationship between 2 loving consenting adults, you listened.
Your sister didn't. George Lopez: Come on, Mom. How many times have you been judged by your background? Benny: Hey! When people judge me, it's because they know me. Not because of my background!
Max Lopez: Uh Carmen Lopez: How come Max is allowed to have a girl in his bedroom, but I'm not allowed to have a boy in my room? Angie Lopez: Please! He still thinks "making out" is looking for change in the couch. George Lopez: [about firing Hosni for being Araba and a professional flier] You don't understand how many times I've been discriminated.
When I go to the mall, the cops follow me. When I'm mowing the lawn, some of the neighbors ask how much I pay. Once, when I was playing golf, a man actually drove up and gave me his keys to his car! George Lopez: Six weeks, if you went to a Catholic school, you'd be a miracle.
Angie Lopez: We don't hit our kids, Benny, we threaten to send them to your house. George Lopez: Angie, does she really need to know how to swim? We're already here.
Benny: Way to go, officer, you stopped a little old lady from sipping a beer. Why don't you go to a crack house and make sure they're rewinding their videos? Angie Lopez: [Carmen and George return from driving and aren't talking] What happened? Was there an accident? Did you hit something? Do we need to wash the car, or bury something? What am I saying? You were here all night, we played charades, you got stuck on "Star Wars" and we all had a good laugh.
George Lopez: I circled that, because that's going to be the worst day of my life. George Lopez: Actually that's a boot, I was angry at you one day and I was going to kick you out.
George Lopez: [imitating Carmen] I hate you! Stomp, stomp, slam. You're the worst dad ever! Nobody cares about my feelings! Stomp, trip, fall! Benny: [sees Max and several other nerdy kids] I've seen this movie before. Angie Lopez: You've been tough, I've been forgiving, we've gone into massive debt to get Carmen into the right school, we've stayed up half the night with Max helping him with his learning disorder. George Lopez: It's not enough.
Last year Max waited up for Santa, this year he and his friends are going to wait on the roof and jack his sleigh. And God only knows what Carmen's going to do with the elves. Benny: [runs up] Hey guys, there's a high speed chase about to pass by the house.
Let's go cheer on the carjacker! George Lopez: You know, if we move, this will be the last car chase we see I'll get the lawn chairs, you get a bottle of wine. Benny: Uh, Ward, June, I hate to interrupt one parental failure with another but Benny: No matter what happened at the mall, Max will have his day, in food court. Carmen Lopez: I'll just need the ski equipment, it shouldn't cost more than Angie Lopez: [to Carmen] We have never spoiled you before and we're not about to let some other family start now.
Angie Lopez: [after George tells her about the trouble between Jack and Mel] Man, it's like a soap opera with ugly people! Benny: [comes in the house at night] George, we need to talk. Angie Lopez: Shouldn't you be in a medical journal with a big question mark next to you?
George Lopez: I should've known better than to listen to someone who said the 'tooth fairy and Santa Claus killed each other so don't expect anything for Christmas'. George Lopez: [Ernie says he can get the workers to fill their quotas] How're you going to do that? Benny: [Ernie and Vic enter the yard with spray on tans] Ernie, Willy Wonka called he wants you back. Benny: [Ernie and Vic enter the yard with spray on tans] Ernie, I'm not going to insult you. I just have a message for you. Willy Wonka called.
He wants you back at the factory right away. George Lopez: Too late, there's a house full of teenage girls, all that's left is jelly and taco shells. Vic Palermo: [on the phone with is wife] No, don't apologize to me.
Apologize to God for walking out on 40 years of marriage! George Lopez: [looks at his beer can] WOW!
This doesn't taste like one calorie! George Lopez: [Angie's come home late, George thinks she's cheating on him] Angie! There's lipstick on your shirt! Angie Lopez: I know, it's mine, and if you smell me, I smell like perfume, and if you search me, you'll find a pair of woman's panties. George Lopez: I can't be doing anything! Because I don't have anything! And I never gave Max anything, except this fine head of hair! And salmonella the one time I tried to make my own chicken fingers.
George Lopez: Whoa, I don't know about you, but in our house we call it the 'weenis'. Max Lopez: I didn't finish all my homework last night, but I don't want to get behind, so I just have to get up 20 minutes earlier to finish it. George Lopez: Yeah, right now it's 20 minutes, then an hour, then you'll be staying up all night to work on a presentation.
Wilder: For every book a student reads, we add to the body of their centipede. Wendy: You want to come in for a drink? I'm expecting some wine to be delivered. Ernie: [laughs] Oh yeah, one time George and I broke into the school with cans of spray paint George Lopez: [Ernie offers to be Ricky's foster parent] What will you do if he drives the car through your fence?
My mother gave me that when I tried to take something out of a dog's mouth. George Lopez: [with Max at the batting cage] Put some more quarters in, Ernie.
Ernie: I got a better idea, why don't we throw the quarters at him and that way when he misses we still have the money? George Lopez: The butt crack. Your butt had no crack, Angie! It was one big cheek! George Lopez: [to Angie] Morning, honey, I tried to surprise you with breakfast in bed but you accidentally locked the door and pushed the dresser in front of it. Check it out: heart shaped pancakes, heart shaped toast, heart shaped ham steak, heart shaped omelet.
You're breaking all my hearts!
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